I'm going to tell you something deep down in Yoeli and I's heart. We don't like talking about it because we think about crying every time someone mentions her or we think about her.
Told by Wenya
It was my sophomore year of high school and Yoeli 8th grade year that my grandma died. I can remember every detail from that day like it was yesterday and today is the second year she's been gone. My grandma had by diagnosed with Leuwy Body Dementia when I was in middle school. Luewy Body Dementia is the closest I ever want to be to a living hell again. It puts alzheimers to shame. I don't know if you've ever seen anyone with Alzheimer but they can't remember anyone or anything. Luewy
Body Dementia takes that and throws in you losing all body functions and memories until you die from not being able to eat or use the bathroom at all. My grandma died from that.
Do you have any idea how much that hurt to see the women who was always there, not there anymore. Instead of in the kitchen you're feeding her because she can't fed herself. Instead of her playing Junk and Rack-o with the family she is laying in the chair not making a sound, just staring at open space. Instead of her getting down to the floor and playing with your younger cousins like she did with you, she's sleeping in the bedroom. She wasn't even 66 yet. She was the woman who everyone described as the most Christ loving and classy woman they met.
My point in all of this is you think you have hurt, but you die outside of God Will and plan for you, and nobody is going to remember you for anything like my grandma was remembered for. You can't just stop, you need to stay with it because God gives all you can take so you fall back on Him and trust him. I wanted to die those years I watched my grandma go through all of that, I could have ruined my influence, impact, and life forever. You can't just quit because you hurt. Hurt is what builds who you are.
So are you gonna cowboy/cowgirl up or sit in the trailer?